Hi, my name is Sarah. I’m an Executive Leadership Coach and the founder/CEO of Cultivating Wholeness.

Sarah Grigsby shares her journey with dyslexia and dysgraphia, telling us why you should own your identity, adopt a personal mantra, and nurture your awesome gifts and talents.

From one side of the world to another

I’m originally from Montreal, Canada where I spent most of my childhood. When I was growing up, I was diagnosed with dyslexia, dysgraphia and a slight form of ADHD.

Whilst I was studying for my Masters I had the opportunity to spend a year in Italy and that was my first taste of living overseas.

In 2018, a coaching network I was a part of sent me an invitation to work in Singapore. To be frank, I had never been to Singapore, let alone anywhere in Asia prior to that, but it sounded so exotic and I jumped at the opportunity!

On a personal note, my work assignments at that time were coming to a close AND I’d just ended a long-term relationship. So really nothing was “tying me down” to stay.

In less than 3 months, I packed up my bags and landed at Changi Airport, bright-eyed and excited for the adventure ahead. I was pleasantly immersed in the rich diversity of cultures through the welcoming arms of friends and colleagues.

Living out my dreams by starting a business

For the past decade, I’ve been working as a Leadership and Enterprise Agile Coach, helping senior leaders transform and transition into new ways of working.

I experienced first-hand how coaching these leaders on their mindset, would make a huge impact on their direct reports—often teams that range from 10 all the way to more than 500 people—the organisation, and even in their personal lives. It was then I found my calling and what I was truly passionate about—one’s growth and development.

Like many others, the pandemic provided the opportunity of isolation and reflection to take a hard look at my life and the impact I wanted to have on the world. I chose to take a leap of faith and started my own coaching consultancy.

As the founder and CEO of Cultivating Wholeness, my mission is to help people connect with their innate gifts and abilities to live fulfilled and inspiring lives. I work with leaders, their management team or individuals through interactive workshops, leadership development programs and one-on-one coaching.

When people first come to me, you can see the heaviness in their faces and the weight on their shoulders. Some of the pressures are due to what we put on ourselves due to our beliefs and perspectives.

“Within ourselves, we have that power to shift that perspective, better manage our emotions and create new neural pathways in our brains to shape the lives we want to live.”

A teacher who believed in me

School was always a place where I often felt inadequate and never “good enough”. And exams made me feel even worse as I continuously got grades that were just a pass and that anchored a feeling of not being “smart”.

When I was 10 years old, one of my teachers noticed differences in my learning abilities. Like how I inverted letters, that I was slower in linear learning yet excelled in visual learning with geometry and arts.

It was then that she invited my parents to have me assessed and when I was officially diagnosed. That teacher shared with me the gifts and the strong intelligence I had whether it be emotional, spatial, or visual.

That perspective gave me the courage to feel that I am not stupid even though the academic world does not recognise my intelligence. It’s simply a way of being evaluated and it’s not linked to my innate value.

One step forward, two steps back

Shortly after my diagnosis, my parents sent me to a specialised learning centre after school to help me build techniques to fill the gap in my learning difficulties.

Audio recordings were given to me to understand the differences between certain words as it wasn’t obvious to me visually. To this very day, when I write a misspelt word, it will often look funny, because I still have a visual memory of what it's supposed to look like!

Whilst I was growing up there were no special measures in schools as people knew very little about learning differences at that time. During exams, I was given “extra time” and was sat in an isolated room (away from all my peers who would be in the regular hall) to finish my papers.

Sure, the isolated room helped with focus a little more but even then, I was stuck within myself as I still couldn’t see my mistakes even with all that extra time.

A game-changing moment

Everything changed when I started Junior College and was given access to the “handicapped” department. And yes, that is exactly what they called it! That title, the weight of the word, the perception of being broken, and not being enough was never something that I would associate myself with.

All that being said though, it was this “handicapped” department that gave me access to a computer for my exams. I was thrilled the first time I did an exam using a computer...89%! The best I had ever received in my life.

I remember breaking down crying and being so happy. My confidence immediately took a boost as I just discovered I had access to the tools that I needed to thrive.

“For me, that was huge. I felt like I was being seen, playing on a level playing field to some extent.”

My success fuelled me to pursue a Bachelor’s followed by a Master's degree. Looking back, it was my learning difficulties that gave me the stamina and determination to prove to everyone that I could do this. I still remember the moment when I was holding that graduation certificate in my hands, realising that whatever I set my mind to, I could achieve.

So my takeaway is that you are the navigator of your journey, so aim for the stars and go for it!

My pillar of strength and source of hope

Many people have supported me on my journey but I do have to give a special shout out to my Mom. She was and is my rock. School at times was exhausting, it required so much energy to pay extra attention in class. My Mom could sense the days that I needed a break.

One day when I was around 8 years old, I remember being in pieces feeling very low. She came in front of me as I sat on my bed sobbing about the day that had just passed. Mom lifted my chin and asked me to look up at her.

She gave me a moving speech on how she believed in me and how great I am. That I can do anything I put my mind to. She then asked me to repeat after her “I CAN DO IT”.

I started off with a shy little voice yet repeated again and again until the words filled the top of my lungs and could feel them resonating throughout my whole body with the confidence that imbued.

To this day, there are times that I repeat the same empowering mantra.

“Even if the world tells you that you are not good enough, with that core belief inside and the seed of confidence that you could do it, that is a crucial foundation for me.”

Perceiving the world around us

It’s interesting how we love labels whether it's about learning differences, ethnicity, religion, sexuality and the list goes on. I’ve seen more harm than good that has come from it—saying that one is autistic or dyslexic, comes with a heavy energy as if there was something wrong with you.

The process of diagnosis in itself is a form of labelling that can be quite challenging to overcome. Then adding on the perception of others does not make a healthy combo. Now, I was lucky enough to not have had too much resistance, however it’s not the case with everyone.

At work, I only mention my learning differences to close colleagues on a need-to-know basis. It is not something I feel I needed to broadcast. Once, we had to send an important email to hundreds of people and I had a lot of anxiety crafting it. I told my colleagues that I have dyslexia and asked if they could proofread it for me and they were kind and supportive.

I know that writing is not a strength of mine; speaking and facilitating workshops certainly is and that's why I spend most of my time doing that now.

Advice for all organisations big or small

High performing teams and the creativity that stems from that is the direct result of how much psychological safety there is in an organisation. This is because people are at the core of every company.

“If people feel threatened to be themselves, have to put up an armour to constantly protect themselves or encounter others who are always looking to blame others, work becomes a negative and heavy space to be in.”

Rather, it should be the total opposite! Imagine the joy it brings when you’re in a place that’s creative, engaging, purposeful and filled with possibilities?

Research has time and time again demonstrated the power of psychological safety on efficiency and performance. The tone and culture of an organisation are set by its senior leaders. It’s not a question of talking the talk but really “walking the talk”.

Know who you are—own your identity

We often go out in the world thinking of what we “have” to do—as a working mother, a high-flying career person or a risk-taking entrepreneur.

It’s as if we exist in the world and act from a place where we feel the need to protect ourselves rather than from a place of abundance, love, possibilities and growth.

We forget that we are “enough” and have awesome gifts and talents.

For individuals with learning differences, own the fact that you are different. Your learning difference is a gift and your superpower!

It makes you see the world in a different way and there is a richness in that. You are not diseased and nothing is wrong with you. Your brain just works differently and in fact we need more of that in this world. By owning your identity, you’ll end up educating people about it and break the silence and biases that other people might have.

Message for parents

The biggest gift you could give to your child is to remind them of their gifts. It is not that they are less smart than others, they are different. Like my Mom told me when I was a little girl, give them positive mantras which they can use for the rest of their lives.

Message for others

Some gifts may not always come out nicely. For example, sometimes when people are passionate, others can perceive them as aggressive, rather than see the intent behind the perceived aggression.

“We can be more curious and observant. We can gain so much more out of our relationships and cultivate a world from a place of wholeness rather than deficiencies.”

If we did all that, we would not see cultural differences as differences, but as gifts and missions, and as ways to support each other. The world will be in a much better place if we build bridges, even when we disagree.

My hope for the future

My dream is that we could erase the notion of learning disabilities and adapt our academic and social structure to the different forms of intelligence and ways of learning.

Some schools in Scandinavia are leading the way. They have erased the classroom learning format, where students must sit down and listen and integrated more play, peer learning and allowing kids to learn at their own rate.

Kids and even adults learn by doing. We can notice it by observing how a child learns—mimicking their parents and interacting with the world around them, not by sitting and downloading information. So let’s break the bias and invite play back in to bring a spark to our lives.

We only have one life to live—grab it with both hands!

Sarah Grigsby